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"To enhance our members enjoyment of the sport of running"

Monday, May 20, 2013

Offline and On the Track: Finding Love in a Running Club

by Erin Masterson

Love, like running, is not for the faint of heart. To be in love is to know happiness; the elation of it; the wonder; the comfort and the joy. Running is like that too; sometimes even more so, because running is something we create all on our own, without the delicate balancing act of another person's free will. When love is good, it is very, very good, but when it is bad, it is TERRIBLE. A great day of running fills your heart and lifts your spirits; and likewise, a day in love is a day to cherish. A bad day in love, however, can crush your mood; bring you to the depths of despair. A race lost can feel the same. We've all been there, no use in denying it. Accepting the trials and tribulations of love, and of running, even when painful, is something we do because we have to. What else do we have, if not hope, and faith, that all will work out? Runners, in the end, are like everyone else. Looking for someone with whom to share life; the ups and the downs, good and bad, through good races and tough injuries and all the so-so days in between.  

Even knowing this, challenges in love are a hard thing for many runners to handle. One of the reasons we seek out and enjoy running is for the sense of control it allows us. A good runner is stand alone; recognized purely for his or her talent, and serving as undeniable proof that putting in hard work is necessary to achieve greatness. At the same time, a poor runner, or one made soft through lack of workouts or lazy days in bed, cannot be disguised. Love, on the other hand, is not something we can control; cajole; predict, or influence. We can only be ourselves; imperfect though we may be, and trust that someone else will appreciate us for all that we are (and are not). 

Which brings us to this. Where else can we be our most honest, undisguised, vulnerable selves, than at track practice? The pain and the sweat, the ill-fitting spandex and messy hair, the groans and the grunts and the lack of mood lighting. Running lays bare all of us to reality, and only in running can you be truly yourself to those around you. In contrast to the traditional style of dating, where both parties are seated opposite a table in a dimly lit room, often with alcoholic beverages to dull the tension, track practice enhances our flaws and puts them on display. Because of this though, running has the potential to create relationships deeper than many others. Runners can be united by their shared values of hard work, discipline, and self reliance. Running is not a glamorous sport, and if that's what you seek, try synchronized swimming. However, two people who love running, and enjoy it, even celebrate it, despite the challenges, can always find a kinship. 

For these reasons, joining a running club is an ideal way to find love. Just ask NOVA's Dave Wertz and his wife Caroline. These two met on the track, and the rest, as they say, is history. Aagje Engel met her husband at a running club too, as did many other members of the NOVA team and other DC area runners. It's no accident that running and activity clubs have flourished in recent years, COINCIDENTALLY as online dating has boomed in popularity as well. Singles have sought out alternatives to online dating, precisely because of the artificial construct that online dating creates and the ability it gives to present yourself online as someone you are not. When seeking a romantic connection, we need to see the real person first; not a profile and not a facade. Running clubs allow for this, and create these opportunities; while at the same time, foster friendships, build a community, and get us in REALLY good shape. Which, in the end, is good for the heart AND soul. Happy running.   


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